The 7 Deadly movie sins of 2015 (or, the seven worst of the year) (2015)

2015 Worst

How I felt during these movies….

Ok, seeing these movies are not actually a sin. Still, these are seven films (I am not yet a professional film critic, so I do not need to see all the bad ones. This means I did not make it to ten this year, which is a good thing) that I would consider the most disapointing of the year. (If you don’t see any on here, it is because I wisely avoided it. Take that Fantastic Four!)

7.

Ant-Man

Paul Rudd discovers his future in “Ant-Man”

Ant-Man is a forgettable marvel movie, even with decent special effects. Paul Rudd and Michael Douglas do ok work, but the script is not up to par, and it has one of the worst villains in recent comic book movie history.

6. Home

Home was a family film, but was not for everyone in the family. It was just meh.

5.

San Andreas

Dwayne Johnson is the one unbreakable “rock” in “San Andreas”.

Dwayne Johnson can do very good acting. Too bad he does not take very good scripts, like the made for syfy film San Andreas.

 

4.

Disney's TOMORROWLAND..Casey (Britt Robertson) ..Ph: Film Frame..?Disney 2015

Casey, played by Britt Robertson, visits Tomorrowland

I agree with the films message, but wouldn’t you want a film like Tomorrowland to take place in…..Tomorrowland?

 

3.

Terminator Genisys

He said he would be back.

Terminator Genisys does not only fail to live up to the first two, but it suggests that those two did not even happen? That is not cool.

 

2. Chappie.jpg

Chappie was something I thought could go well (it was made by the director of the great film District 9). The result? Change the H to an R in the title.

 

1.

  1. XXX JUPITER ASCENDING MOV JY 1628 .JPG A ENT

    EXCLUSIVE TO USA TODAY FOR FIRST USE Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis in a scene from the motion picture “Jupiter Ascending.” CREDIT: Murray Close, Warner Bros. Pictures [Via MerlinFTP Drop]

    When I got Jupiter Ascending from the library (like I would pay for it), I put it in, and tried to pay attention. I was on my ipad the rest of the movie. I forgot the game I was playing, but I am pretty confident it had a better storyline.

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

XXX JUPITER ASCENDING MOV JY 1628 .JPG A ENT

Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis in “Jupiter Ascending”.

I remember back when The Matrix came out, and (after having to see it twice, since I was a little young to comprehend what the heck was happening) thinking it was awesome. And while I did enjoy the second film (I never saw the third), the only other thing I think the Wachowskis did worth seeing was V for Vendetta (I will always remember  remember the fifth of November).

However, there is a big crash known as Jupiter Ascending. It is one of the most confusing movies I have seen recently, but, unlike in The Matrix, I do not have the desire to go back to find out what it was about. Any movie is in trouble when you want to play on you mobile device over watching it.

I will try to see what I can put together. The movie starts out when Jupiter (Mila Kunis) is telling about how her father was murdered right before she was born (and just after he decides to name her after the planet). She, along with her Russian (I think) family cleaning houses (she is stuck to bathroom duty). We then meet Caine (Channing Tatum), some form of space warrior who is sent to protect Jupiter because we find out she is meant to be the Queen of Earth (she also apparently can handle bees well because, you know, they sense her Queenyness. Yeah, I evented a word).

There is also one of Caine’s friends, Stinger (the always present Sean Bean). We find out that Earth is to be “harvested” by an evil Abrasax family. There is the mother Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) and one of her sons Titus (Douglas Booth). However, it is her other son, Balem, who is the main bad guy. He is played by recent Oscar Winner Eddie Redmayne, who I still think is a great actor. I say this because his performance in this film absolutly stunk, and made no sense. He, like the film, was trying to be original, and failed miserably.

Another problem with the film is Mila Kunis. She is a good, likable actor, but her character is not even worth mentioning in the same sentence as female heroines such as Sarah Connor, Ellen Ripely, even Nintendo’s Samus Aran. Jupiter lacks any toughness, or spark, and humor.

Parents, the film has one scene where a (minor) character is in her underwear, but that is it. There is also some swearing, a little action, and some kissing. There is not, however, any real character development, good action, or, worst of all, entertaining content.

 

Overall: One Star *