The 10 Worst Films of 2017

Worst of 2017

The only reason these films are not on the list is that I was spared seeing them…

I am still waiting on a few movies to see before I can list my top ten movies of 2017, but I am more than ready to list the pieces of trash (trash being the most polite word I can think of) of the past year. Movies in the collage above are not going to be mentioned, only because I did not see them.

 

That being said, here comes the reminder of the pains I went through the past year…

 

10.

The Shack

Despite having a nice message, The Shack falls in so many ways that it sadly becomes another forgettable Christian movie. Also, I still don’t see how you can see the title and not think it is a horror film.

 

9.

The Space Between Us

I had hopes for The Space Between us, but was disappointed. Despite nice acting and chemistry between the young leads, the story goes nowhere and we are left wishing Butterfield and Robertson were in another movie.

 

 

8.

The Emoji Movie

 

Every now and then, I feel a little sorry for The Emoji Movie, which was not as hated by me as most of the rest of the human race (even by those who did not see it). Then my mind remembers how bland and boring the film was. And the absolute worst humor imaginable.

 

7.

Split

 

Lousy M. Night, making me almost hopeful that he may be going back to good movie making. At the end, Split is still an utter failure, with premises that I found completely ridiculous.

 

6.

Roland (Idris Elba) in Columbia Pictures' THE DARK TOWER.

 

While watching The Dark Tower, you get a sense that this movie had so much promise, but that every decision made behind camera was the wrong one. I never read the book series (by Stephen King), but I feel that doing so will give me more reason to hate the film.

 

5.

Transformers

Tranformers: The Last Knight. It is a Transformers movie. That alone should be enough explanation.

 

4.

POTCDMTNT

Remember when the Pirates of the Caribbean movies where fresh, new, and exciting? Well, if they make more sequels like Dead Men Tell No Tales, I will forget why I liked the first film at all to begin with.

 

3.Life

 

A solid cast and some neat special effects cannot stop Life from being a rip off of the original Alien, or from having one of the worst end twists I have seen in my life.

 

2.

The Snowman

If you look up all the people associated with The Snowman, you will be as confused as I am. Confused not just at the plot, but at how all these people could make a film the equivalent of eating yellow snow.

 

1.

frozenolaf

 

It may have been a Disney animated “short” (yeah, those quotation marks are as important as ever), but I have seldom felt more anger (even hatred) towards a movie screen than when I had to sit through Olaf’s Frozen Adventure. Sure, Disney pulled the film (which was followed by the far more superior Coco) a few weeks later, but those of us who saw it were left with one of the most excruciating experiences that we are still not sure is over yet. No one asked for this film to be in a theater, and I predict it will have the same future that was given to The Star Wars Christmas Special back in the 1970s.

2017: Halftime Report

movie

Every year, the first half is more difficult to find great movies in (since studios put their best in theaters in the last months of the year). As always, I am not able to see all the films (or avoid all of them), but I managed to make a top five of the year that are so far worth remembering the most six months from now.

However, let us first look at the five movies that I are worth forgetting (at least till I make the worst of the year list in six months).

The Worst

 

5.  Split

I am sorry, but the script was not something I could believe, no matter how great James McCovoy.

 

4. Get Out

Ok, I will get a lot of feedback on this, but I still am trying to find out how this movie is so well rated on rottentomatoes. I admit the movie was funny, but scary? Hardly.

 

3.  Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Javier Bardem makes an good villian, but he entered this tired franchise far too late. It has officially sunk.

 

2. Transformers: The Last Knight

Yeah, no real surprise here. Does this franchise still have fans?

 

1. Life

 

Predictible. Unoriginal. Don’t get me started on the ending.

 

 

Ok, now the best of the year so far…

 

5. Okja

Streaming now on Netflix, this story of a little girl on a quest to save her giant pet pig is no kiddie flick. It is strange and weird, but also beautifully original.

 

4. The Lego Batman Movie

Lego strikes again with originality and humor. Stretching even further into the Lego universe, it is got plenty of entertainment for any age.

 

3. Wonder Woman

DC has not had as many solid hits as Marvel, but this was definetly a big one for the company. Gal Gadot gives a solid performance in a movie that will have both genders rooting.

 

2. Baby Driver

With the exception of Mad Max: Fury Road, no movie in the last few years has had as much road raging action and octane. Not to mention the acting and comedy.

 

1. Logan

Hugh Jackman gives a bittersweet performance in his swan song film of the character he brought to life over a decade ago. Add in a tight script with fine supporting acting, and you have a comic book movie for people who don’t like comic book movies.

 

Here is to the second half of the year…

Split (2017)

split

Dennis is lecturing Casey on what to expect in “Split”.

In a way, the career of M. Nigh Shyamalan has coincided perfectly with my growth as a movie goer. I was twelve when his movie The Sixth Sense was in theaters, but it would prove to be only one of two movies I would have seen of his on the big screen (the other being Signs). Word of mouth has stopped me from seeing films like The Village, Lady in the Water, and The Happening.

Now we arrive at Split, which I, like many, had some form of hope for going into the theater. I had heard that it was Shyamalan’s return to form, and proof that he may be back. He may be back, but not in a good way (though it is at least not as bad as The Last Airbender).

The movie starts out with three teenage girls Claire (Haley Lu Richardson, who was the best friend in The Edge of Seventeen), Marcia (Jessica Sula) and Casey (Anya Taylor-Joy) leaving a party. Claire’s father (Neal Huff) is attacked, and the girls are kidnapped by a mysterious man called Dennis (James McAvoy). We soon learn that Dennis’s real name is Kevin, and he suffers from multiple personalities (Dennis is the dominant one).

Kevin is being treated by Dr. Karen Fletcher (Betty Buckley), who is determined to prove that there are positive attributes to the mind of a person with multiple personalities. Ok, I know very little about psychology, but there is a lot that I don’t know if it is possible or not. There is even a moment when we see one of the personalities (I believe it was Jade) who explains (in a video diary) how it is weird she is the only one who needs an insulin shot for diabetes.

Shyamalan is known for giving us twists at the end, and Split is no exception. I won’t give anything away, but I will say that when we find out where he is keeping the girls, I found myself wondering how on earth could no one see him sneaking them in there in the first place? I also think they would be aware that someone such as Kevin would be having problems if they let him around there to begin with.

There are two positive aspects to the film, and both are two performances. James McAvoy is clearly a great actor, and gives a dynamic performance as all the personalities (though the movie says he suffers from 23 different personalities, we only get about nine, according to IMDB. So really what is the point of the other 14?) The other is the performance by Anya Taylor-Joy. Her Casey is the outcast of the three girls (the other two did not want to invite her to the party in the first place), yet we get flashbacks of past events in her childhood that are almost as disturbing as her current situation. Anya Taylor-Joy (who was also in 2016’s highly underrated and far better film The Witch) has scenes with McAvoy where you can sense even the veteran thespian is seeming impressed with the younger actress. Remember her name, because she does have potential to be a bright star in Hollywood.

Parents, the movie is PG-13 mainly for the thematic elements and swearing. There is blood, but not tons of it. The girls are also asked to remove clothing (Dennis hates dirt, even on clothes), so they are forced to be without a shirt or pants. Basically, High School and above, though there are better movies for anyone of any age.

Had the movie been only about kidnapping Casey (the other girls were superfluous, though the actresses are still talented), and the personality count been reduced, the movie may have been a little better. Still, there are too many things wrong with this movie for me to recommend it. Better yet, go to Redbox, On Demand, or Netflix and see if either have the movie The Witch (if not, go to the local video store). That  is far more worth your time if you want a good scare.

Overall: Two Stars **