The Top 10 Worst Movies of 2018

2018 Worst

Thankfully, the films above were ones I avoided.

 

My love for movies is vast and may have no limits. So much so that, once in a while, my mind tricks me: “Yes, the movie is supposed to be bad, but it might show that you are willing to sit through anything in order to be a professional critic”.

It is true I am willing to sit through any film if it brings me closer to being a professional movie critic, but the following ten films were the ones that tested me more than any other this year.

 

10.

10 Aquaman

With the exception of 2017’s Wonder Woman, DC really is not hitting hard on the cinema front, and it continues with Aquaman. Yes, Jason Mamoa was good, but anyone with a brain stem could have predicted every possible outcome of this watered down material.

 

9.

9 FBTCOG

As big of a fan as I am of the original Harry Potter films, the newest ones are lacking in the department of character development and grace. Even with a plot twist at the end that had some bit of interest, Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald was nothing short of exhausting.

 

8.

8 Venom

Say what you will about the MCU, but at least they don’t fail when it comes to plot (mostly) and villains. The same cannot be said about Venom, which is sad because I would love to see Tom Hardy as Eddie Brock again if these companies could just get along.

 

7.

7 JWFC

There was new promise in 2015 when Jurassic World came out, reviving the dinosaur universe. Then came Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, which, while it looked nice, put the movies back near extinction.

 

6.

Irreplaceable You

 

 

No spoiler: Netflix original films are not always great, but Irreplaceable You is beyond the level of sappy and impossibilities you find on the Hallmark channel. I would call it the worst romantic film of the year, however…

 

5.

5 The Kissing Booth

I am a fan of romantic comedies when they are smart and witty, both of which The Kissing Booth is not in the same time zone of. Good young actors are caught in a script that just gives the taste of blah.

 

4.

4 TCP

 

 

Okay Netflix, I promise this is the last time you will have a movie on this list. Marketing of The Cloverfield Paradox was well done, but that is the only thing that can be said positive about this sci-fi crap fest.

 

3.

3 The Meg

I have seen all but the last of the Sharknado movies, and those were better than The Meg.  A bucket of chum has a much more pleasant smell than this film.

 

2.

2 Slender Man

If my good friend James in Michigan is reading this, consider this my deepest apology. When we last saw each other, I went with you and your family to see Slender Man, because nothing else was out. You paid for my ticket, and I would not blame you for pressing charges against me.

 

1.

1DOAN

 

Of all the movies I have seen in 2018 (both good and bad), I have talked about none more than The Death of a Nation. At the end, Dinesh D’Douza gives us the website to go to if we want to learn more. When I went, I saw no facts there. Perhaps most painful of all for the film is that, at only three in a half minutes in, Hitler commits suicide. If Hitler killing himself because he does not want to be in your movie is not a metaphor for how much your movie sucks, I don’t know what is.

2018 Half Time Report

halftimereport1

 

I am rather surprised that the first half of 2018 has had a rather good share of quality films, nearly breaking the tradition of having mainly bad films in the first half of a year. It actually made me realize that while I can make a top five of the year so far, I could not do a bottom five (for it would include films I actually enjoy).

That being said, such good movies like Deadpool 2, A Quiet Place, Incredibles 2, Ready Player One, and Set it Up did not make the list.

First, the bottom three…

 

3. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

After the nice revival of the series in 2015, we are given this let down. Nice visuals, but way too many plot turns and clichés that make you shake your head rather than nod.

2. Irreplaceable you

It is rather sad when there is a romantic movie that tries hard to bring the tears and fails. Too many characters making choices that are really difficult to relate to, let alone agree with.

1. The Cloverfield Paradox

Credit to the film makers for keeping this project a secret up until the release right after the Superbowl. That is really the only positive I can think of. I have not seen any of the other Cloverfield films, but it still does not hide what a waste of time and money this was.

 

Note: The last two films mentioned star actress Gugu Mbatha-Raw. I point this out because I wish to say she is talented, and I hope she gets better material soon.)

 

Now the best so far…

5. Isle of Dogs

Leave it to Wes Anderson to, as always, give us as fresh an original movie as possible. It is weird, quirky, funny, touching, and has Bill Murray. So, you know, a basic Wes Anderson film.

4. Black Panther

Easily one of Marvel’s top films, the kingdom of Wakanda gives us some of the best action, grit, and realism we have seen in any action film. All the cast is wonderful.

3. Avengers: Infinity War

As if the previous film were not enough, Marvel then proceeded to give us the best comic book movie since The Dark Knight. Seriously, think of how bad this movie could have been, and yet there is hardly a fault. Regardless of how you feel, there is no doubt of the wonderful, terrifying screen presence of Thanos (Josh Brolin is definitely having a good 2018).

2. Hereditary

This horror thriller reminded me a lot of 2016’s unseen gem The Witch. With a stellar cast (mainly Toni Colette), this film leaves a taste that I have still not fully gotten out of my system. I don’t think I want to either.

1. Won’t you be my Neighbor?

We still have more action packed films (comic book or otherwise) to endure this year, but they did not come much more humble and respected than Fred Rogers (who took me years to realize his first name). A documentary that is sure to bring tears and cheers, it is as necessary a film as the world needs these days. Like Hereditary, it will leave a taste (albeit a much warmer and comfortable one) in your bones and soul that will not leave you (not to mention make you feel somewhat guilty for the parodies Rogers had to suffer).

 

Now to the second half of 2018…

 

 

The 10 Worst Films of 2017

Worst of 2017

The only reason these films are not on the list is that I was spared seeing them…

I am still waiting on a few movies to see before I can list my top ten movies of 2017, but I am more than ready to list the pieces of trash (trash being the most polite word I can think of) of the past year. Movies in the collage above are not going to be mentioned, only because I did not see them.

 

That being said, here comes the reminder of the pains I went through the past year…

 

10.

The Shack

Despite having a nice message, The Shack falls in so many ways that it sadly becomes another forgettable Christian movie. Also, I still don’t see how you can see the title and not think it is a horror film.

 

9.

The Space Between Us

I had hopes for The Space Between us, but was disappointed. Despite nice acting and chemistry between the young leads, the story goes nowhere and we are left wishing Butterfield and Robertson were in another movie.

 

 

8.

The Emoji Movie

 

Every now and then, I feel a little sorry for The Emoji Movie, which was not as hated by me as most of the rest of the human race (even by those who did not see it). Then my mind remembers how bland and boring the film was. And the absolute worst humor imaginable.

 

7.

Split

 

Lousy M. Night, making me almost hopeful that he may be going back to good movie making. At the end, Split is still an utter failure, with premises that I found completely ridiculous.

 

6.

Roland (Idris Elba) in Columbia Pictures' THE DARK TOWER.

 

While watching The Dark Tower, you get a sense that this movie had so much promise, but that every decision made behind camera was the wrong one. I never read the book series (by Stephen King), but I feel that doing so will give me more reason to hate the film.

 

5.

Transformers

Tranformers: The Last Knight. It is a Transformers movie. That alone should be enough explanation.

 

4.

POTCDMTNT

Remember when the Pirates of the Caribbean movies where fresh, new, and exciting? Well, if they make more sequels like Dead Men Tell No Tales, I will forget why I liked the first film at all to begin with.

 

3.Life

 

A solid cast and some neat special effects cannot stop Life from being a rip off of the original Alien, or from having one of the worst end twists I have seen in my life.

 

2.

The Snowman

If you look up all the people associated with The Snowman, you will be as confused as I am. Confused not just at the plot, but at how all these people could make a film the equivalent of eating yellow snow.

 

1.

frozenolaf

 

It may have been a Disney animated “short” (yeah, those quotation marks are as important as ever), but I have seldom felt more anger (even hatred) towards a movie screen than when I had to sit through Olaf’s Frozen Adventure. Sure, Disney pulled the film (which was followed by the far more superior Coco) a few weeks later, but those of us who saw it were left with one of the most excruciating experiences that we are still not sure is over yet. No one asked for this film to be in a theater, and I predict it will have the same future that was given to The Star Wars Christmas Special back in the 1970s.

The five disappointing movies of 2016

2016-worst

As of this moment, I am not a paid film critic, so I am not able to see all the movies I want, or even the ones I would have to suffer through (Though I do like to sit through a few pieces of trash, just so I can bad mouth them). That being said, not all of these films are what I would actually call bad, but disappointing.

In other words, here are the five most disappointing movies of 2016…

 

5.

Race

 

Jesse Owens was an athlete who gave 110% and became an athletic American icon and legend. Sadly, those who made the film Race did not give that amount of effort (at most they only gave 50%), and it shows all the poor results on-screen.

 

4.

Batman vs Superman Dawn of Justice

While Suicide Squad was indeed disappointing, it was not as bad as Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. Ben Affleck (the one everyone thought would be the worst part) was great as Batman, but the story was all set up and little pay off. That, and Jesse Eiseberg (a talented guy, no doubt) giving a very bad and awkward performance as Lex Luthor.

3.

Me Before You

I so badly wanted to like Me Before you, I really did. Despite a likable Emilia Clarke, the story makes us believe that these characters can stick with the choices they make, and they are not at all for one minute.

 

2.

BenHur2016

It is no secret that, when it comes to remakes, the outcome is normally not going to be good. In the case of Ben-Hur, saying it is not good is a gross understatement. It is totally unneed, bland, and beyond boring.

 

1.

Independence Day Resurgence

The poster read “We had 20 years to prepare. So did they.” In the case of Indendence Day; Resurgence, no one could have prepared us for a movie so by the books, so inconsistent with the original, so extraordinarily long, and, above all, so much an utter piece of crap.